It is a heavy burden coupled with a sense of severe personal failure to carry - that the one person you love the most in this world has decided to walk away from you. There is much self-inventory, regret, repentance and grieving going on - leading me to my only hope in the Gospel - that God’s love is especially available and amply supplied to me when broken of my capacities and worthiness - that in Him and because of Him there is now no condemnation - even as my heart condemns itself.

Ellen is proceeding with filing for divorce. I have plead for her not to. But she is resolved that it is in her best interest. I agree with her that she deserves better. Having said that, I hold to hope that restoration is not a false hope. I also am resolved to do everything in my power to put myself in a position for the Lord to entrust my wife back into my care. I hope and pray for restoration as I continue to give attention to my own issues and remain available to serve and to provide for Ellen and the family. I intend to continue to perform as a husband and father, even as my failure to love Ellen adequately has robbed me of that distinction and privilege.

After exploring the possibility of a relocation to Nashville - a place I knew would provide for me good accountability and support, as well as potential opportunity for income and a career - I have chosen rather to locate closer to Ellen so that I can be available to serve her and to be a father. I am in discussions with the US Center for World Mission about the possibility of enlisting in their cause to launch a training apparatus for young people who are pursuing a life time of urban and world mission.

So if all things remain the same, I will likely find myself much on the roads between Gainesville and Tallahassee as I purpose to continue to serve Christ and my family.

I am excited that God has blessed me with a relationship and friendship with Nate Larkin, of the Samson Society of Pirate Monks. The Samson Society is a fellowship of accountability and support for Christian men. It is a fellowship of Christian men who are serious about authenticity, community, humility and recovery - serious, but not grave. I hope to establish two new chapters of this society - one in Tallahassee and one in Gainesville - ensuring that in both places I will have a network of friends, good support and personal accountability.

Nate has asked me to join him in some of his speaking engagements in the Fall as a musical side-kick where I can broaden the exposure of Rebirth International to the wider body and sell CD’s for income.

I also have other concerts that have been scheduled in the Fall - yet have many dates that remain open. This is a way that I hope to be able to encourage others with my journey in the gospel, a means of providing for myself and my family during this transitional time.

While I have spells of deep discouragement - I nevertheless feel lifted by the gospel and by a band of brothers in my life. I have found not only the abundance of light during these times of great darkness - I have found that through God’s providence and power - that my dark path - in that it brings me prostrate to the cross again - is a sacramental work of God’s grace. That God uses my dark paths as a source of redemptive and restorative light. I pray that the schemes of the enemy will be spoiled and turned back and even used of the Lord to bring greater growth in grace in my life and family.

But even if I am robbed of my self-proclaimed happy ending - I know the Lord will work restorative grace in the event of our greatest need. How great is our God and how great is His gospel!

Thank you for your many words of encouragement and assurances of prayer. They mean more to me than you will ever know.

The following are the lyrics to my most recent song to Ellen. I share them so that you might have more impetus to pray for me and for Ellen in this dark path.

Elegance Personified
Mo Leverett, July 2010

a thousand songs would i have penned
against a thousand foes defend
she so fine and soft to see
greater than the world to me
elusive and estranged the peace
softly she has sought release
now my tears forever flow
forever i will let her go

still would i have fought and died
for elegance personified
she the apple of my eye
never more to taste will i

she deserved the all she asked
i deserved the fall i masked
now the long remaining days
struggling, limping on my way
now in pain that never ends
bitter is the joy God sends
grace that comes at times of need
hope that comes from wounds that bleed

She will remain in Tallahassee - and while she is not a facebooker I’ll be sure and pass on your well wishes and prayers.

Thank you for you kind words and pledges to pray for us. We’re all going through a difficult time.

After 24 years of marriage, my wife Ellen has made the difficult decision to divorce me. I have resigned from my pastoral assignment at CenterPoint Church in Tallahassee. I will be relocating to Nashville temporarily to get my feet under me and to rebuild my life. I will continue to do work through Rebirth - urban ministry consulting, teaching, conducting internships, speaking and concerting. I will be seeking alternative sources of income for what I’m unable to generate through contributions or concert fees and love offerings.

Please pray for us during this difficult time. Pray for Ellen and my four amazing children.

1. To raise support for our ministry endeavors
2. To recruit next-generation urban ministry leadership
3. To secure future speaking or concert engagements
4. To hang out with the incomparable Nate Larkin and to observe his men’s ministries in Franklin, TN
5. To explore some music distribution possibilities for Justice Road Productions
6. To unload some of my CDs which are heretofore needlessly gathering dust.

Please pray for me that my time away from home and church proves to be very fruitful!

As you know - the purpose of Rebirth is to advance the cause of the Gospel in urban poverty here and around the world.  The calling God has placed on my life remains certain in these uncertain times.

I am presently in a Red Roof Inn in Montgomery, AL awakened and heading to the East side of Birmingham where one of my prized interns is contemplating the launching of a new Rebirth effort. I am coming up to help him get his bearings - to assist him in developing an initial strategy and to sell it to a base of supporters in the area. God is on the move.

I will return later tonight to lead a men’s retreat for my beloved church here in the Big Bend (Tallahassee).

The Spring was a flurry of activity - in addition to hosting an intern for the year - in addition to pastoring a church through transition - I had numerous speaking and singing engagements which help keep Rebirth afloat financially and advance its cause in recruitment of next-generation urban missionaries. I also spent a large portion of time consulting with indigenous leaders and staffers at my former ministry who intend to relaunch the ministry they enjoyed at Desire Street.  Please pray for their success and encouragement.

I will be teaching at Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando in January and speaking in Omaha, NE in the Fall as well as other assignments. Due to lack of funds I’ve been unable to fulfill some commitments - like visiting Shane and Kristen Fast who are leading the Rebirth work in East St. Louis - and traveling to Columbia to meet with a missionary friend I had committed to help there.

I must dedicate some days and hours to a frontal attack on the fund-raising effort. Perhaps the summer will afford me that opportunity.  So if you are interested in hosting a concert - even a house concert of potential friends to Rebirth - don’t hesitate to call me. There is much availability in my schedule in the summer and fall!

CenterPoint Church has endured a difficult transition from founding pastor to me. We’ve renewed and crystalized our commitment to the South East quadrant of Tallahassee to build an incarnational mosaic of grace - a church wholly committed to seeing the word and work of the gospel planted in the life of this community. Pray for the Lord’s clear direction over our exciting work here.

Our family is doing well. Lindsay will be a full-time college student in the Fall and moved out of the house. Lacey is planning to duel enroll at TCC as a home-schooler. Maggie is headed to high school and Manning to middle school.  Manning is enjoying playing All-Star Baseball right now - and his Dad is enjoying being his form of transportation and fan club. Ellen is taking coursework to prepare her for a new career in medical information systems - she’s such a diligent student and is excited about moving into this new phase of life. We’re all doing well - prospering in love.

Hope to see you soon in your neck of the woods or mine!  Many blessings…

I have seen times of blessing I didn’t deserve.  I have experienced hardship I did not expect.  I received things I did not earn.  I suffered my share of loss.  I experienced times of circumstantial bliss.  I grieved the realities of death and disintegration.  But it matters not.

I saw the Lord at work in my life.  I’ve seen His hand of blessing withdrawn.  I’ve experienced the blessing of friendship and the betrayal of brothers.  It matters not.

I’ve known the height of accomplishment and the disappointment of personal failure.  It matters not.

I’ve trusted.  I’ve feared.  It matters not.

I know the love of Jesus Christ for my soul, the bread He offers at no cost - which satisfies eternally.  My name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.  All else matters not.

For the love of Jesus, I will strive for and give priority to the spiritual connection with the Father which He purchased for me through his sufferings.  When I feel pain in this painful world, I will find the place secured for me in His arms, on His lap, in his tenderness and care.  I will use terms of endearment with Him - ABBA and everlasting Father.  I will believe the things He says about me - that I am fearfully and wonderfully made - that I am precious to Him.

For the love of Jesus, I will believe in His sovereign and overarching plan for my life - even when it doesn’t square with my own perspective and preference.  I will surrender to Him in times of blessing and in times of want and woundedness.  I will honor Him and count it a privilege to suffer with Him and for His cause.

For the love of Jesus, I will give what remaining years, days and breaths He grants me in service to Him.

But if all I am allowed to do is to love Him - it is enough.  If all that I have to bring is praise for Him, it is enough.  If all I have to give is to cherish Him - it is enough.

In life there are many longings, many strivings, many desires of the heart.  But it matters not. To know Him, to be known by Him - it is enough.

But this fact gives us a clue into the modus operandi of God.  He often walks with us when we are unware.

To say that these men were distraught would be an understatement beyond measure.  Their whole lives had come apart at the seams.  The hopes that they had pinned onto the person of Christ were great.  And the crucifixion of Jesus brought those hopes to a grinding end, a disappointing finality.

But he meets them, bodily resurrected from the dead, on that road and patiently hears their story - enduring their spiritual blindness.  Or should we say that they were kept unaware and these disciples patiently endured the intentional invisibility of Jesus?

Often I’ve found myself on a dark road of life.  And I do not feel the presence of Jesus - I feel, rather, His conspicuous and painful absence.  However, what I feel can be misleading.  His own words would recommend to us that He neither leaves us or forsakes us.  No, He is with us on every dark road - He only makes His presence scarecely felt for some hidden yet redemptive purpose.

It is our aloneness that leads us to cry out.  It is our desperation for Him that eventually pulls Him out of hiding and refreshes our eyes with awareness of His love, His truth and grace.

Back to the story…after a long journey, over dinner, Jesus opens their eyes not only to the scriptures that point to the necessity of His atoning work for redemption sake, but also finally that He is in fact the Christ - risen from the dead.  Can you imagine the excitement these men felt to see Jesus face to face victorious over death itself?

And almost as soon as they recognize Him, He disappears.  What the…?  Why would Jesus finally show Himself and then vanish?

It is a painful thing for God to withdraw from us or to fail to disclose Himself fully to us in our time of need.  Nevertheless, a glimpse of Him is enough to leave our hearts burning and desiring consummation.

Because of the resurrection of Christ we have the full assurance of His presence on our dark roads. Shrouded as He may be in the interim, He is present, accessible and with resurrection power.  Even when we feel we do not walk with Him…He walks with us and that is the essence of our Christianity.

_______________________________________

It’s been a great month at Rebirth despite the fact that I’ve been wiped out by a weird virus that has lingered for over a month.  I’ve performed at the Grace Men’s Conference and met the keynote speaker Nate Larkin with whom I’ve developed a bond.  He heads up The Samson Society and has invited me up to do some co-writing with some Nashville songwriters.

Mo is in New Orleans a few days this week continuing in his consulting work to revive indigenous led ministries there.  He will be in Gainesville, FL on Monday and Tuesday of next week teaching a class on Community Development at Grace United Methodist Church and The Christian Study Center for the Perspectives on the World Christian Movement Group.

On April 10th, 11th Mo will perform a concert and be key-note speaker at Community Presbyterian Church in Moody, AL at their annual Missions Conference.

The following week - Mo will be leading worship for the Grace & Men’s Conference at Willow Creek Church in Orlando, Florida.

Please pray for Mo during his travels and pray especially that God would raise a heap of support for our important ministry during these travels.

Our staff and initiatives in Tallahassee are growing.  The prospects for non-revenue-generating consultation visits are also growing - both here in the States and abroad.  We are helping others through seminary to be in a position to launch new works elsewhere.  Mo is teaching classes, running internships and casting vision - wherever possible.  He needs to get around to encourage his different ministry leaders in New Orleans, East St. Louis and to generate other relationships with colleges and seminaries.  But the funds are not there right now.  Please pray for us and go get your CD!

Thank you for your partnership.

* Feb. 8, 9 - Mariana, FL - Mo will be leading the Gulf Coast Presbytery Retreat at Blue Springs Retreat Center

* March 5-7 - Montgomery, AL - Mo will be the keynote speaker and perform a mini-concert at Millbrook Presbyterian Church Missions Conference

* March 26-28 - St. Augustine, FL - Mo will speak and perform at Coquina Community Church

* April 16, 17 - Orlando, FL - Mo will perform at the Gospel Men’s Conference